sorry i havent written in a while. well 4 days isnt that much of a while but whatever. ive just been feeling not so myself anymore. i feel like theres something..missing? i just dont know what it is. ya that sounds kinda creepy but thats wut i feel. ive also been feeling kinda depressed lately and i hate that feeling because thats the worst kind of sad you can feel. and i hate being sad. i try to be more optimistic about things and myself but it never seems to work all the way. ya i feel gay saying all this in here and sound like a fag saying this but i dont really care cuz i just feel like giving up. ya that didnt really make sense what i just said because i was trying to say 2 things at once i just didnt know how to end one of them and didnt know how to start the other so i just comnined them. ya well i guess im excited for the break just to get away from all the school shit. im so sick of everything. i really wish sometimes i could just leave or drop out or something and move to california or new york (my dream) but then id feel bad leaving some of my friends and i wouldnt wanna be like that kind of a bitch. so ill just put a smile on and pretened everythings ok :o). ha thats so hard to do. well anyways its kinda crazy the year is already half way over. i guess im happy about that idk? i like creek a lot so i guess thats why things go by so fast cuz when ur having fun things go by faster? well anyways im gnuna go. bye sexy bitches <3 wow my love for ryan cabrera. i <3 his cd :o). hes my baabay. i figured out how to put songs on here but too bad its not that one i want. oh well ill deal with it.